The concept of dating appeared in the early 20th century.
Before this time, there was courtship which was a much more unemotional and goal-oriented affair. Women would meet with different men having their parents present every time. The aim was to find the most suitable one for a marriage. And the choice heavily relied on factors such as financial and social status. At that time, young lovers couldn’t just “go out on a date.
Yet, this began to change at the beginning of the 20th century, when couples started to go out together in public and unaccompanied by their families. The introduction of dating also shifted people’s focus on falling in love, not on finding an appropriate marriage partner. It brought an increased desire for experiencing romance and love before getting married.
Since the moment it was introduced dating has been going through a lot of different transformations caused by the times and the morals.
For example, back in the 50s dating meant a one-on-one engagement. Young boys would ask girls to go to the movies or something like this. Ladies would say either yes or no. If yes, they could go to the movie and perhaps have some ice cream afterward. After a few dates, they could decide to go “steady.” and become boyfriend and girlfriend.
In the eighties they would say “It’s a date” and not just we’ll hang out. My father told me he used to say it every time he went out with a girl for whom he had a romantic interest. And these weren’t those ‘movie and back to his place’ kind of dates. He had to put effort, be a gentleman, and it took him a few dates before he became closer with the lady. Dates rarely were just coffee or a movie, usually a nice dinner where he picked up the check. That’s how things worked then.
Whereas, today we prefer to avoid the d-word by saying: ‘ we’ve had a coffee’, ‘just hanging out’, ‘watching a movie at their place’, ‘it was only lunch’. And we also tend to forget what is the right treatment for the person we are seeing. Waving goodbye instead of walking the lady home is not OK.
That’s why it’s not a bad idea to find out how people used to date in the past when men behaved like true gentlemen and treated their dates as real ladies.
Here are 8 old but gold tips from the past that could make your date much more special and romantic.
1. Chivalry is mandatory.
Unfortunately, chivalry is nowadays considered old-fashioned. But there were times when the gentleman would pick up his lady from the door before bringing her for a walk or to dinner. Unfortunately, nowadays people prefer the “I’m outside” text, which is absolutely unromantic. So, if you want to be more attentive to your lady next time you go to the movies you might show up at her door and give her flowers instead of meeting her in front of the movie theatre. And you should certainly pull out the chair for her in the restaurant if it happens that you two go out for a dinner.
2. Go dancing
If nowadays anyone offers going dancing, people would probably think they want to hit up a club. But the idea is to really go dancing not just sitting at the bar drinking your beer. Or make it even more romantic like Noah and Allie from The Notebook who danced in the middle of the street with no music. That could really make a date unforgettable.
3. Talk about going on a date not hanging out
People have started using the term “hangout.” too often. If you are interested in getting to know a person, you should ask them on a date!! People’s fear of serious relationships have caused the “hanging out” to replace the dating. If you really like somebody, ask them on a date and also ask them questions about their life, tastes, and hobbies. Inviting your date to come to your place late at night is not romantic and exposes your lack of effort.
4. Make your intentions clear.
You’ve been dating for a month or two but things are still at a very superficial level. What is going on? Well, maybe it’s high time you talked about what are yours and your partner’s intentions. That’s what is going wrong. Try making it clear what you expect from this relationship. Also, during the dates try involving your partner in activities that could make you become closer with them.
5. Put your cell phone away.
Using our phones all the time has become addictive and we very often do it unwillingly. But we have to pay more attention to that when we are on a date. The time you are out with your crush is most certainly not an appropriate to be on your phone. Put the phone away, and don’t use it unless there is an emergency.
6. Don’t rush sex.
Going to a late dinner or movie on the first date doesn’t necessarily mean it should end in the bed. That is not what dates are all about or were about before! Going on a date is important because you could get to know the person, win your crush’s heart and move things forward to the point where it’s OK to become intimate.
7. Come to the date on time.
Once upon a time, punctuality was obligatory. Today we tend to forget its importance though. You had a busy day at work, the traffic was heavy, your mother called and asked you to bring her some things before going to your date, these are all excuses for lacking punctuality. And that shouldn’t be the case. If you have a date at 9 o’clock be there at 8:55 and don’t make the other person wait for you. No one likes to be standing alone in the sun or in the cold. If you can’t be on time call and reschedule or cancel the date.
8. Gentlemen, don’t forget the sidewalk rule.
This is a very important etiquette rule from the past but people seem not to be aware of it today. The sidewalk rule is: the gentleman walks between the lady and the street to prevent any danger. Men used to do this to protect the lady of their heart.
Nonetheless, people nowadays seldom or never do the things listed above. The reason is that the dating world has radically been transformed. Advances in technology, as well as the huge changes in social roles, have actually produced a confusing dating environment.